I know I am supposed to be keeping a journal, but I haven't been able to make it part of my daily or even yearly routine. On Sunday, something our Gospel Doctrine teacher said made me recommit myself to the idea of keeping some type of record of my life. Since the traditional pen and paper journal has not been successful, I have decided to try the blogging thing. I am not promising any awe inspiring or even well written entries, but I will write honestly, hopefully leaving a true record of who I am and what my life is really like.

So here I go with entry #1.

It's Wednesday night, about 8:20. Barr just got home about an hour ago from a business trip to Lake Tahoe. I am feeling like I should have acted a little happier to see him when he walked in, but I was on the couch giving Brooke a breathing treatment while watching Mary Poppins. This week it's the only show that can distract her from constantly crying for "James' room". The first time I showed it to her, I had to skip to only the songs to keep her attention, but luckily being a musical, there was no shortage of them! A few of the scenes scared her since they mix in reality with fantasy. She can't distinquish between the 2 yet. The Uncle Albert laughing on the ceiling fascinated her and she kept asking "what's that?". It's been nice having something to play other than the 6-minute Larsen clip over and over again!
Ben is obediently attending a city council meeting tonight to fulfill a scouting requirement for a merit badge. As I dropped him off he said he was just going to write "boring" all over his notes. Way to have a good attitude! I am grateful he's willing to go though.
Brittany was at swim team practice.
Right before these events, we went to the elementary school for the Science Fair. Brigham was so nervous in anticipation to see if he was awarded a blue ribbon. My heart sank as I saw his strained smile when he discovered only a participation ribbon hanging on his board. He tried not to show his disappoinment, but a mother can tell. He just wanted to go home, especially after learning that Brittany, who didn't care at all about ribbons, had a big blue one on her project. It made me think how unfair life seems at times, especially to kids. Of course with feelings hurt, there was an argument once we got back to the car about who's sitting up front. I guess legally Brigham is still too light, but the school is only a few blocks from home. I was really hoping Brittany would have offered it to him seeing how upset he was. But Brigham's negative mood rubbed off on her and they were soon yelling at each other. I have to be the deciding voice, giving Brigham shotgun of course since my heart is still hurting for him. As I'm buckling Brooke into her seat, the yelling has just stopped, and she looks up and asks, "what's that?", meaning "What just happened that everyone was so mad about?". I had no good explanation for her so I just smiled and shut her door.
Five minutes after arriving home, we have to leave again to drop off Ben and Brittany and I'm faced with another dilema. Last night, after Brittany's choir concert and Ben's swim practice, we had 25 mintues before we had to pick up Brigham from baseball. I thought it would be fun to celebrate Brittany's great performance by getting some icecream. Of course we had to use a coupon, so we went to Baskin Robbins for some sundaes. I'm wondering what it is about siblings and how everything has to be fair, but I realize that's just the way it is. I didn't get one for Brigham first of all because my coupon was only for 2, secondly I wouldn't know what he would want, and thirdly, I didn't want melted icecream all over the car. I had taken just him there several weeks ago when we showed up for a pack meeting that I hadn't been told had been canceled. I thought that if I just reminded him about that, he would be OK with the fact that this time Ben and Brittany got to go. Well, of course I was wrong. "Thanks for ruining my night" was the reaction I received as he threw himself in the back of the Sequoia. More yelling, more yelling back, yada yada yada. I tell this story from last night to explain my reasoning of offering to take Brigham out to icecream tonight once we drop off the 2 older kids. Of course he's all for it and for the first time since his first place dreams were crushed, he wasn't grumpy. But now I hear it from Ben and Brittany. "That's not fair. Why does he get to go? No, you better not go to Swirls! Mom, that's not fair!". I try to explain all my reasons of why it is fair and finely just have to smile and realize it doesn't matter what I say, kids will be kids!
Brooke is bathed, the laundry's put away (or at least their piles are in their rooms), the sink is clean, my pajamas are on, Barr will be back home any minute from getting Ben and I will assume my nightly task of calling everyone together for scriptures and prayers. Brittany and Brigham will fight over who gets to sit next to me on my bed and read from the big book and since I'm feeling good tonight, I will let them each sit on one side of me. See, this blogging is already doing wonders for my mothering! I hear them now....